


Whatever I feel for you

by CygnusX



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 05:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14888111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CygnusX/pseuds/CygnusX
Summary: "As long as I'm here, you are invincible," he had said. He still wasn't sure what had gotten into him when he had pronounced those words, but even now he knew he had meant them.





	Whatever I feel for you

Kageyama lay on his bed, observing the volleyball in his hands with furrowed eyebrows, the familiar feeling on his fingers unable to get rid of the tension in his shoulders.  "As long as I'm here, you are invincible," he had said. He still wasn't sure what had gotten into him when he had pronounced those words, but even now he knew he had meant them. He had been overcome by rage when he realized the redhead had lost his concentration because he was too busy doubting himself. What an idiot. Couldn't he see he was enough? He spun the ball in his fingers, deepening his frown. He was the only person who could spike his crazy tosses. No. That _wanted_ to spike them. That had meant the world to him. Couldn't he see? Not that he would ever admit it to him.

The ball escaped his fingers and hit the floor. He had been holding it so tightly it ended up propelling away from his hands. Damn it. He was thinking too much about this once again. He wasn't going to get anywhere like this. He sat up and reached for his phone.

_Wanna get some extra practice tomorrow morning?_

Kageyama dropped the phone on his bed carelessly and rested his head on his hands, clenching his jaw at the fact that his heart was suddenly beating faster. Not even a minute had passed before he felt the phone vibrate.

_Yes!!! Will you toss to me!?_

He bit his lip. There was something about the way Hinata treasured his tosses as if they were gifts.

_Of course not. You have to learn to receive first, idiot. Don't wanna lose because you suck._

But of course he would. He couldn't really stop himself at this point.

 

~

 

"Kageyama?"

"Hmmm."

"Kageyama," the voice insisted. He opened his eyes, but everything was dark. And why the fuck was Hina—.

"Kageyama!"

"Shhhh," he finally managed to answer when the facts of the situation came back to him. "You're going to wake up everyone, dumbass!" Kageyama whispered almost as loud as Hinata himself. The whole team was sleeping in the room, since the following day they had their second round of matches for that tournament. He was sleeping right next to the wall, and the shorter boy was sleeping between Yamaguchi and him.

"I can't sleep," he heard him say, in an actual whisper this time. The duvet covered him almost completely, and even when his eyes had adjusted to the darkness all he could see of him was a nose and a tuft of hair.

"So you decided to wake me up as well? Asshole." He was tired from the matches today. They hadn't been easy wins and they needed to be well rested to face the even harder matches that awaited the next day. And they had to win.

There was a brief silence.

"I'm sorry," Hinata said.

Kageyama sighed and got closer to whisper.

 "What is it?"

"I...I saw the players we are playing against tomorrow. And some of them were huuuge. And I know I'm still not the best at receiving and I don't have enough experience and—"

"Ssshhhh," Kageyama had to interrupt as the other boy raised his voice more and more as he went on with his rambling. "Just stop it. It's gonna be fine. Plus you don't even have to do that much. I'm tossing to you so you just have to spike and you won't get blocked."

He could see Hinata's eyes grow for a second, barely 30 centimeters away from his own face. He nodded, burying his nose in the covers for an instant. Kageyama extended a hand out of the warmth of his own covers and forcefully ruffled his teammate's hair. "Now go to sleep or I'll kick your ass in the morning," he huffed before turning his back on him and burying his face in the covers.

 

~

 

They lost.

They worked so hard, they were so close and still they lost. He tried his best and it wasn't enough. In the end, Oikawa had read his toss and his team had managed to block Hinata's spike.

He needed to get away. He couldn't stand the pain on his teammates faces, the words of encouragement from the public. As soon as they were out of the building he said he was going to get water, and hurried towards the farthest water fountain he could find. He stuck his entire head below the stream, wishing it could wash away all the dangerous thoughts going through his head as easily as it did sweat. After a couple of minutes he heard steps and a familiar pair of shoes entered his field of view. Reluctantly, he straightened.

"I'm sorry," he said, eyes avoiding Hinata. "They read my toss in the end."

He started walking away, but when he was about to pass him, Hinata grabbed his wrist and pulled hard, making him turn towards him.

"Don't apologize!" he yelled as he pushed Kageyama with such vigour that they both fell on the grass, Hinata on top grabbing his collar.

"Don't you dare say that tossing to me was a mistake!" he continued, with the angriest expression he had ever seen him wear.

Kageyama was so angry that all the words that went through his brain got stuck trying to come out of his mouth. He just stared at the other boy, trembling, speechless. Hinata was _so close_. He could feel his breath on his face, labored from the recent effort. And he punched him.

Not hard. Not to cause him pain. A hit to the stomach just hard enough to make sure he would punch back. And he succeeded. He knew exactly how Hinata would respond.

"What the hell!"

The answer from the redhead was received by the left side of his jaw, and he winced in pain. Hinata then grabbed his collar with both hands and pushed him hard against the ground. Kageyama used the momentum to push back and send both of them spinning. They wrestled for control, alternating on top several times, scratching each other's legs with their shoes, yanking wrists and even biting each other’s arms. The fight ended when Hinata's elbow connected with the setter's stomach in a particularly painful fashion as he tried to release his arm from Kageyama's with a quick motion. The setter grunted and let go of him, collapsing on the ground.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Hinata apologized, quickly sitting up to look at Kageyama, expression suddenly morphed into one of worry.

"No."

Kageyama closed his eyes, breathing heavily. _I'm sorry_ , he wanted to say. _Don't leave me_. But instead he said "Thank you, I needed that."

Hitana blinked a couple of times with a confused look on his face and then collapsed right next to Kageyama. They both panted in silence for a while, and then they just lay there, looking to the sky.

"We should go find the others," Hinata finally said after a few minutes that had seemed like hours, and they both got up.

 

~

 

He didn't understand the point of having a big meal together after the match. There was nothing to celebrate. He just wanted to go home and sleep. Forget. But as soon as he tasted the food he understood. He looked at Hinata and he understood. He couldn't tell you who had started, but soon tears were rolling down their faces. And he cried. He cried because they had lost, because all their effort hadn't been enough and they couldn't fly on the court anymore. Then Hinata briefly squeezed his hand under the table, and he cried even harder. But this time he cried because he was so grateful to have found this family. This family of idiots who screamed at each other and fought constantly and he wouldn't give up for anything in the world. Because he wasn't a lonely King any longer. And he squeezed back.

 

~

 

The following day was hell to get through. Kageyama didn't even bother trying to concentrate during class, but he really wished he could have. Just to get rid of that feeling. That anger. The pain every second he thought about their defeat. But nothing could take it off his mind.

At last, classes were over and he headed to the gym. Hinata was already there.

Without a word, they started practicing receives, each one more intense than the last. Eventually, Hinata missed one of the receives and yelled in frustration. He picked up the ball and started running aimlessly around the gym, screaming. Kageyama was just as frustrated. He hit hard all the volleyballs he had nearby in quick succession and when there were none left, he mirrored Hinata's behavior. After a while, they both collapsed on the floor near each other, panting. They lay in silence for a few minutes, trying to regain control of their hearts. He felt Hinata move to lie on his side, one arm under his head, and he turned to face him as well.

"Do you think we would have won if my receive was better?" the redhead asked in a low tone that contrasted heavily with the screams that had filled he gym just a few moments back.

"Of course not."

"And if I was taller?"

The setter just flicked his fingers against his forehead.

"Ouch," came the complaint along with a childish pout.

"Don't flatter yourself so much. Nobody alone is the reason why we lost, stupid."

"Yeah? Then why did you say sorry the other day, huh?"

Kageyama gulped. _Touché._ A few silent moments passed as he steeled himself for this moment of naked honesty.

"I thought"—he looked away from his face—"I thought you wouldn't want me as a setter anymore."

He heard Hinata huff. "Why would you even think that!?"

Kageyama didn't answer right away.

"You wouldn't understand. Everybody likes you," he said with a frown, looking back up at his face. "Even if you are an idiot," he added after a second, as if to compensate.

"That's not true!"

"It is."

"Is not!" Hinata answered. After a few seconds with no response, he seemed to have a flash of insight. "Does that mean you like me?"

"No!"

"So I'm right then."

"Of course not!"

"Well?"

Kageyama's face seemed to go through several stages of confused scowling, and Hinata could have sworn his cheeks were slightly pink when he finally spoke.

"I guess I like you a little."

 

~

 

They were done with practice that day and a few of them were changing in the locker room. As Kageyama was putting his clothes in his bag Tanake came in.

"Damn, Kageyama, did someone die or what?" he asked as he lifted his uniform over his head.

The boy realized that he had been frowning harder than usual, lost in his own thoughts, but before he could answer Tsukishima intervened in his usual mocking tone.

"I bet he's got that face because he knows he's going to fail hard next week's math exam."

Kageyama sent a murderous glare his way.

"Woah, I'm totally going to fail that too if I don't get it together. You want to study together?" HInata's voice came muffled from under the shirt he was trying to pull off his head.

Tsukishima snorted.

"Yeah, two idiots studying together, I'm sure you'll manage to unlearn the little you know."

Kageyama closed his locker with a thud and stomped out of the room, the blonde's comments not truly able to offend him anymore at that point. Even though he hadn't given any answer, he waited for Hinata on the outside. He was there only a couple of minutes afterwards, coming out of the gym in a hurry. When he saw he was still there his face lit up.

"Hey! You waited for me!" he seemed to say more to himself than anything.

Kageyama started walking away immediately, and the redhead had to jog to catch up to him. When he reached him, Kageyama turned to look at him briefly.

"At least when we get tired from studying we can play some volley."

"Yeah!" Hinata almost jumped with excitement. He spoke animatedly about volleyball the entire way to Kageyama's house, and he just listened and nodded from time to time. Maybe even scolded him a couple of times when the opportunity presented itself.

When they arrived, Hinata left his bike in the yard and they both went inside. Kageyama's mother welcomed them warmly and even asked Hinata about his preferences concerning dinner. Meanwhile, Kageyama took their bags to his room and started unpacking what he would need for studying. As he set the textbook on the table, he heard the other boy approaching while animatedly informing his own mother on the phone that he was staying over that day.

"You're staying?" he asked after the redhead was done talking and closed the door behind him, and he sounded more hopeful than he would have wanted.

HInata's face turned into one of worry and he raised his arms defensively.

"Oh! Is that okay? Your mom said she would prepare the futon so I just assumed—"

"It's fine. Don't get so riled up about something like that, dumbass."

Hinata's face softened and he grabbed what he needed from his own bag. They decided to try to solve some problems without looking and then compare with the solutions.

"I'm gonna solve this problem super-fast and I'm totally gonna beat you on the exam!" Hinata challenged him.

Kageyama huffed at him and started writing furiously.

"Hum...actually, do you know how to start on this, Kageyama?"

"Oh my god Hinata you just have to multiply those two things, even I know that," he pointed out before punching him softly on the side.

Hinata pouted in defeat.

"I'm so failing this exam."

…

 

About two hours later you could almost hear the gears inside their brains laboring to keep going, see the smoke coming out. Hinata sighed and buried his head on his arms.

"I give up. I can't do it."

Kageyama dropped his pencil in agreement.

"Do you want me to toss to you?"

Hinata immediately straightened, his face shining with miraculously renewed energy.

"Of course!"

Kageyama felt something in his chest swell at those two simple words, and then they were on their way out. His mother insisted that they ate a snack before going out to play and sent them off with a smile.

The same two hours that had painfully crawled by while studying simply flew by while Hinata jumped around with limitless energy and excitement and he could just toss, toss, toss to him. Too soon his mother was calling them, but they were tired from the long day and ate eagerly. Hinata couldn't seem to choose between using his mouth to devour the food or shower it with compliments.

When they were done eating, they helped clean up. Since there was no school the following day, his mother excused herself to her room and let them use the big TV in the living room. As expected, Hinata grabbed the remote and started browsing through the different movies.

"What about this one?"

"A scary movie? Well, as long as you don't get scared later and can't sleep," Kageyama mocked.

"You're just saying that because _you're_ scared," Hinata replied, sticking out his tongue at him.

"Whatever, just hit play and shut up."

"Wait! You have to turn off the lights or it won't be any fun."

Kageyama frowned, but went to turn off the lights anyway, while Hinata made himself comfortable under a blanket. It wasn't that Kageyama got scared watching scary movies. He just wasn't a fan. Especially when it came to those ones with a lot of jump scares. He didn't really jump out of fear, he just had quick reflexes. And clearly Hinata did too, because after the first 15 minutes or so, when things started getting creepy and the first jump scare happened, he felt the blanket covering them tense. When he looked to the side he could see Hinata holding the blanket up to his nose, eyes wide and alert. Towards the middle of the film, when a particularly nasty monster made a sudden appearance that had even Kageyama jump in his seat, Hinata actually screamed. Making use of the aforementioned reflexes, Kageyama quickly put a hand on his mouth to muffle the rest of the scream.

"Shhhhhhh, you'll wake up my mum!"

Hitana looked at him in despair. "You got scared too!" he protested.

"I was just surprised that you screamed, idiot!"

They continued watching the movie, but Kageyama didn't go back to his original position. He stayed right next to Hinata, just in case he had to shut him up again.

When the movie finally finished they brushed their teeth (like it's a competition, and their gums end up bleeding a little) and put away the studying tools they had left behind earlier. The extra futon had already been laid out next to the bed, so they changed into their pajamas, or some oversized old clothes in the case of Hinata, and said their goodnights.

Kageyama was trying to fall asleep, but there was an annoying background noise that just wouldn't let him.

"Stop."

The noise, of course, was Hinata tossing and turning in his futon, too excited after watching the movie to sleep.

"I'm sorry. I just can't sleep."

"I told you you would get scared."

"I'm not scared!"

Kageyama sighed loudly and there was a sound of sheets moving.

"Just come here."

"What?"

"Get in the bed, asshole."

There was a pause. Then he heard Hinata getting up and felt a new weight sinking the mattress right next to him. The bed was big enough to fit both of them without a lot of trouble, so he was surprised when the redhead pressed his back against his body, but he didn't complain.

"Thanks...Kageyama".

He felt an uninvited warmth creep up his face. He could feel on his nose the hair of the shorter boy, who seemed to fit seamlessly with his own body. Without thinking, he put an arm over his waist.

"Just shut up and sleep," he said, the usual animosity in his voice almost turned into a soft whisper.

 

~

 

It was the little things. How he would sit next to him, leaving no space between them. Or carelessly throw his legs over his when they were watching some movie sitting on the sofa. The pats on his back after scoring and unintentional brushing of arms while trying to explain how to receive properly. They fed him. But he was starved.

 

~

 

One night they were sitting on his sofa. _Again_. Watching another movie Hinata had chosen. A scary one. _Again_. Hinata was laying down, with his legs over his, and as the end of the movie approached he could feel his heart beating faster in anticipation. Perhaps that night he would be able to feel the boy's warmth in his chest, and fall asleep to the sound of his breath, hair tickling his nose every time he adjusted his position.

When they were ready for bed, he sat on his mattress and turned to look at Hinata.

"Why do you like watching horror movie so much if you get scared so easily?" he asked, more curiosity than mockery in his voice.

"I don't know. I think it's just really fun, even if it's scary sometimes. So it's worth it!"

The setter looked at him in silence, like that didn't make any sense to him.

"Isn't there anything you are scared of?"

"Yes..."

"What is it?" Hinata asked, sitting next to him on his bed.

Kageyama gulped. He contemplated lying, or dismissing him with an insult as he often did, but in the end the serious expression in the boy’s face compelled him to answer truthfully.

"Losing volleyball. Losing you," he said, not meeting his gaze, ambiguity heavy in the air.

He felt the redhead's hand cup his chin and was forced to look him in the eye.

"Well...I don't know about the others, but you're not going to lose me, okay?"  He declared with a fierce look of determination in his eyes, hands on his shoulders.

"You don't know that," Kageyama answered with a deep frown and grabbed his arms, pushing them away without much force.

"Yes, I do."

Kageyama huffed.

"You have no idea what you're saying.  You would run away in a heartbeat if you knew—" Kageyama faltered, "If I—"

He gave Hinata a look of utter helplessness.

"If I what?" he insisted.

"If you knew how I feel about you," he confessed, defeated.

"What?"

He saw how the redhead’s eyes dilated in surprise and confusion, and he couldn't stand it anymore. He took his face between his hands and crashed his lips against the boy's. With his eyes closed shut, he could hear his heart hammering in his ears, his lips, his chest. He felt dizzy. Although their lips were touching, he had never felt so far away from him. It was only after a few seconds that he released Hinata's face, terrified by the consequences.

And then Hinata pulled him back towards him. And it was everything. He felt his lips on him again, but this time they answered. He put his arms around the redhead's neck and pulled him closer. Then he felt arms around his waist, and it gave him the courage to release his lips. To open his eyes. Hinata looked at him as well, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. And then Kageyama was crying too. It was a cascade. But they were kissing again and it didn't matter whose tears they were anymore.

And he understood.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever. I've always read a lot, but all the wonderful Haikyuu fanfiction inspired me to write something. I started re-watching the anime recently and this came out. English is not my native language so any constructive criticism is welcome. I hope you enjoyed it. Please drop me a comment if you liked it.


End file.
